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User talk:Masterire
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Mary, Mary quite contrary page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! LOLSKELETONS (talk) 20:39, August 30, 2015 (UTC) Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read the Deletion FAQ for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback. Jay Ten (talk) 20:47, August 30, 2015 (UTC) Jay Ten (talk) 20:47, August 30, 2015 (UTC) Re: Poem We actually don't delete stories/poems for category violations (although we have been know to have to ban users who violate those rules multiple times for a day). Your poem was deleted for not being up to quality standards, which is also why your appeal has been turned down. I strongly suggest using the writer's workshop for you next story (see message above for the link). EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:12, August 30, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:28, August 30, 2015 (UTC) Story I'm sorry, but story was riddled with errors, punctuation (apostrophes missing from possessive words like neighbor(')s garden", commas missing from words indicating pauses in sentence flow, punctuation marks used incorrectly: ""Can you turn that flippin music off Bryan!(?)""), capitalization (failure to capitalize the start of a number of sentences, not being uniform when capitalizing mom as a proper noun, improperly capitalizing words: "That's when I noticed She was", etc) wording ("Bent upwards, shaking unnervingly." broken sentences, ) , grammar (your=possession, you're=you are. it's=it is, its=possession "it's yellow paint", "it's tone", etc.), and story issues. The author's mental track jumps around to random/unimportant thoughts, Claire's hatred comes out of nowhere and has no reason (explanation for these things are needed when writing a story), how was the mother killed so quickly/quietly (especially since there's written messages in blood (Cliche) that have dried. Your story needs a lot of work and it feels like you typed all of this without any proof-reading. Then there's the nonsensical ending that has zero build-up or reference in the story. There are a lot of issues here that drastically lower the overall quality of the story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:44, August 30, 2015 (UTC) Its not fucking non sensical shes HALLUCINATING!!! I've given so mcuh reference to that throughout the story can one not make a story where people ahve to think these days? I'll fiz the grammar mistakes and im then making another appeal Masterire (talk) 23:47, August 30, 2015 (UTC) :There's absolutely no reference or reason to her hallucinations. They just happen randomly and have little impact on the story until the end. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:50, August 30, 2015 (UTC) :So mu h of the random senseless things as you saya re how people precieve hallucinations, shes been acting weird for a few months as referncef by her friend, shes paranoid her friend is trying to aggitate her, shes shown to be high functioning, she hears stuff thats not there, a voice behind her that shes convinced belongs to a person yet she can't see them, the ahllucinations dont make sense because thats how people experiance them sometimes, its written from her point of view! the hidden thing is shes a paranoid schitzophrenic and the point is its weird for some people but those with sufficiant knowlege will eb able to explain the sotry in aheartbeat that the point and it looks like it worked :Masterire (talk) 23:55, August 30, 2015 (UTC) ::There's other issues than what I pointed out, as you've had two stories deleted today, I thought the fact that our standards are high would be made pretty clear. The story itself has issues that a few simple revisions aren't going to fix. I would strongly suggest taking it to the writer's workshop. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:10, August 31, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:20, September 3, 2015 (UTC) Re: Look at the message above, your story is riddled with the same grammatical, punctuation, wording, issues that the other one had. As for picking on you, I don't pay attention to who's submitting stories (so as not to be biased) so I find that's hard a foolish claim to have. Your story is not up to quality standards, plain and simple.. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:27, September 3, 2015 (UTC) I don't fucking no whats considered nor al for talking in the US but thats 100% normal wording according to everybody who read it before i put it up here. easiest thing to do Is put it on the writers workshop. It won't be deleted there and we can hopefully help you work on getting it to meet the quality standards. Then you can look on getting approval to repost it. Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 22:32, September 3, 2015 (UTC) Thanks, for being helpful unlike some admins. Can I make a request to if I put it up for appeal for it to be considered by anybody other than him? I don't mean any personal offense but I'm a very paranoid person and it will just have me on edge, exthe worse. My brain hates me like that. [[User:Masterire|Masterire] (talk) 22:45, September 3, 2015 (UTC) I think the policy is for a second admin to look at it. That way you know you aren't being discriminated against by one person. Empy is usually pretty cut and dry though so it likely needs some work. Stick it on the workshop and we'll see if we can't salvage it. Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 22:49, September 3, 2015 (UTC) Story Grammar: it’s= IT IS, its=POSSESSION “it's fine ambience…”, “it's flickering glow”, “It found it's way” Wording: fragmented sentences: “A solemn man.”, “A low tone.”. “The name Alice made the Woman (woman) bit (bite) down on her tongue, quite literally”, “…almost catatonic body, he done (sic) nothing to stop her.”, “you never bring (brought, she is speaking in past tense) him hiking.” Wording cont.: “"No, no, no." He's (sic) whispered”, “Always to (too) busy,”. Awkward phrasing: “A violent raise in tone emerged from the right of them”, “Then it finished, the loud hellish noise.” Punctuation: “"Who is that.(?)” Commas missing where natural pauses are implied: “Please(,) you have to help us”. You use hyphens instead of em dashes (they are not the same thing.) “And that- to her- was a lot of people”, “Years ago- those words faintly recognisable”, “sounds- they were catching” Capitalization: “"You never cared about him, that's the reason I'm leaving." The (the) woman growled.”, “That's fucking cheap coming from you Alice." The (the) man retorted,”, “"What, what the fuck... Jason, Jason! Did you hear that?!" The (the)woman quivered…” etc. Capitalization cont.: “All those trees lined in a Corridor (corridor) would have given”, “a State Penitentiary (state penitentiary)”, “North to the Future. (future)” Formatting issues: “A single shot. She walked toward the door and looked at the man at the floor. She barely gave him a second glance. A single shot.” A lot of familiar issues are here. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:50, September 3, 2015 (UTC) As fro "bring him hiking" thats deliberate to show she still has fate he is alive and such occurences are not yet past tense. the single shot format thing is intentional for added feel. I thought State was capitlaized in the US I'll fix that and other capitalization issues. when a scentence finished would it not end with for example: "Yadadadada." The, because it the "----." is the end of a scentence? Much of the wordingg continuation "no, no, no" is deliberate, hes panicky and is repeating it to himself. I'll fix the other bits. Solemn man and low tone. Whats wrong with that? Hyphens and dashes so this ( -) is a ? I can't find another dash sort like thing on this keyboard. thanks so far Masterire (talk) 23:04, September 3, 2015 (UTC) Dashes The issue with the dashes was the spacing, it's technically more correct to use an em-dash (—) which you can use by clicking "more +" on the toolbar at the top of the editing window—under the title of the page. Or, add a space on each side of an en-dash - which is fine. An en-dash with no spaces on one side is not proper, and an en-dash with no spaces on either side is for words that directly impact one another (low-budget, for example). SoPretentious 23:16, September 3, 2015 (UTC) Thanks, I couldn't find dashes on the laptop I'm using since its from like 2010 (Ancient, I know lol, jk jk) I just copied and pasted from another website. I think I've cleared up at least 90% of the stuff. Masterire (talk) 23:28, September 3, 2015 (UTC) Appeal I turned down your appeal. Your story seemed rushed, try writing an outline with a conclusion in mind before writing the story itself. SoPretentious 01:26, September 4, 2015 (UTC) Re: This situation is dragging on too long, so I'm just going to tell you the truth: the writing is terrible. Besides the missing words and other technical issues still present, the phrasing and word choices are simply disastrous. I can't even follow what's going on because I'm constantly being taken out of the story by the awkward wording/phrasing. You use way too many modifiers, and the ones you use are often poor choices. Then there's the dialogue, which is very generic and unnatural. Reading your work out-loud can help you catch when things don't sound right. I really think you need to take some time to do a bit more reading and try to figure out what proper writing looks like. You also need to slow down and consider using the workshop; and by using the workshop, I mean leaving it in there for more than a few minutes. I'm sorry, but I feel like this is the only way to get through to you at this point. If you don't let go of this story, it's only gonna hold you back. Take a break, do some reading and studying, then come back to it down the road. Don't give up on writing, but slow down and take the time to improve. Jay Ten (talk) 14:45, September 5, 2015 (UTC) :There's nothing I could add to the above message, seems to be spot on. :SoPretentious 15:42, September 5, 2015 (UTC) :So there is nothing good about it? at all? sorry for infecting this site with my horrible writing then. Should of realised I was to shit to do anything that would interest anybody :Masterire (talk) 17:19, September 5, 2015 (UTC) ::You're being overly dramatic and implying things we didn't say. You seem to have a good imagination, but you really need to practice your delivery. We have a lot of resources here, and there are all kinds of writing advice pages on the internet. If I didn't tell you the truth, then how would you ever know you needed improvement? Nobody starts out as a good writer: it takes a lot of practice and a lot of reading to get there. Notice I said, "Don't give up on writing, but slow down and take the time to improve." If you really want to write, you'll learn to use criticism as fuel for improvement. ::Jay Ten (talk) 17:39, September 5, 2015 (UTC) Your Talk Page Do not remove messages from your talk page, especially warnings. Your talk page serves as a public record of what has been said to you, as well as being an easy way for us to keep track of infractions. If you choose to clear messages from your talk page again, you will be blocked from editing for one day. | creepypasta.wikia.com | I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! | [[User:Underscorre|'Under']][[User talk:Underscorre|'Scorre']] }} 16:49, September 5, 2015 (UTC) About Your Story I have lots of stories that are flops, just because your story might be worth scrapping doesn't mean you can't write anything worthwhile. We do have pretty high quality standards here, we raised the bar a while back, and we are trying to keep the site free of stories that rehash each other. It can be difficult to avoid falling into a trope without making it a priority. There are other sites on the web where your story will not be removed for quality reasons, like deviantart. SoPretentious 17:42, September 5, 2015 (UTC) thanks Masterire (talk) 18:48, September 5, 2015 (UTC)